We all understand that self-care is important. We have to brush our teeth, eat healthy foods, exercise, etc. in order to live a healthy life and take care of our responsibilities.

But what the heck is self-love? It sounds selfish! Does it mean that’s it’s all about me? I don’t think that I can put myself first—it isn’t right!

Yup! Those are common questions and responses.

I wasn’t quite sure what self-love meant either until experiencing a “bout of the blues” after having major knee surgery. This led me to an incredible woman (a counselor) whose teachings gave me a whole new perspective! I’m not an expert on the topic—in fact I’m still learning but here’s what I’ve discovered so far.

If you believe in a higher power, whether it’s God, Mother Earth—or the “One who is known by a thousand different names” this is what I’ve come to realize. By loving yourself—you are honoring your higher power. You are recognizing how much your creator loves you and wants the very best for you. Not just your basic self-care but for you to see the gift that you have been given--- which is you! You are unique, one of a kind.

How do you treat a newborn? You hold it gently, take care of it, feed it, and nurture it. And most importantly, you give it love—not only survive but to thrive. This is how self-love can be for you as an adult.

Treat yourself as you would a newborn? Just the concept alone is powerful! What are some ways we can do this? Think of how you interact with your friends. You get a phone call and they need your support. You stop what you’re doing, listen without judgment, offer ideas if asked, and give them unconditional love and encouragement.

Now for the big question—do you do the same to yourself? If not, how can you start?

Here’s a few tools to help on your journey:

1. Be mindful of your self-talk. How often do you criticize yourself during the day? Is your criticism even valid or are you just being hard on yourself? Become aware and turn it around by talking nicely to yourself. Praise and encourage yourself like you’re coaching a toddler taking their first steps. So, encourage—encourage—encourage yourself!


2. Watch out for the ANTS (your automatic negative thoughts and change them into PATS (positive automatic thoughts). You’ve probably heard the statistic that we have around 90,000 thoughts a day and over 50% are repetitive. So, if you are thinking negative things about yourself—you’re likely to be bringing yourself down versus raising yourself up! If this is the case, try the STOP method. Hold your hand up in the air and say, “Stop!” Command your mind to stop the thought train! Now ask if the thought serves you. Probably not! Then praise yourself for awareness and decide what you want to think about!


3. Self-love involves gratitude. Do a day scan—think of everything you did today and tell yourself how amazing you are. With every meal or even set your alarm and let it be a reminder to stop and be grateful for the small and big things that are going right.


4. Record a self-praise greeting for yourself on your phone. It’s just for you so really think about all the wonderful qualities you have and speak them out- loud! Listen to it every day until you feel your energy shift.


5. Hug yourself. Tell yourself that you love yourself. Be your own best friend.


6. Take little breaks to feed your soul. Even thirty second can make a difference!


7. Do things that you love. Make a list of things that feed your soul and try to incorporate them into your day. Maybe it’s just sitting at the kitchen table, doing nothing but sipping on a cup of tea or doing a meditation.

Start here and discover how you can fulfill the equation SELF-CARE + SELF- LOVE = INNER HAPPINESS =? The “?” mark is for you to answer! When you operate from an inner state of happiness you are raising your positive energy and making progress towards achieving your goals—your dreams!